The Secrets of a Lady (The Jordans) Read online

  Audrey shook her head as Noah slammed the door behind him. She would never understand men no matter how long she lived. How they could fight, even exchange blows from time to time, and still remain friends was beyond her comprehension.

  She drew in a sharp breath as Griffin moved a fraction closer.

  “I-I-” she stammered, caught off guard by the intensity that had returned to his dark stare. “I am so sorry about Luci.”

  She winced as she said the words. They sounded false, even worse since she was trying to convince Griffin to help them. Yet, she did feel the pity she expressed, despite Luci’s hatred for her, and even the rumors and grief Griffin’s wife had caused. Losing someone so young, especially at a time that should have been joyful like the birth of a child, was heartbreaking.

  “Thank you,” he choked out. He turned to look out the window behind him.

  “I would have accompanied Noah to the funeral, but…” She stopped.

  How could she explain to this grief-stricken man that his wife had once threatened to destroy her? Worse yet, had followed through on her threats with vigor.

  “I understand,” he murmured. “You and Luci were never close. Thank you for your sympathy.”

  He had distanced himself from her, from the subject. Now he was only repeating words he’d said a hundred times to a hundred other people. In his heart, he was no longer even in the same room as she.

  She struggled to find words to bring him back. “We… we wouldn’t be in your way, I promise you. We would only stay in the house for proximity purposes.”

  “That is not exactly true, is it?” Any suffering he’d felt the moment before was wiped from his face when he looked at her, leaving behind only irritation. “As your host, I would have some duties in this little charade, wouldn’t I?”

  “No!” She took an involuntary step closer. “This is dangerous business, we would never let you come in harm’s way.”

  With a low chuckle, Griffin took a long step in her direction, and she found herself just a few inches from him. Leaning down, he brought his face close to hers. “You will only put yourself in danger, eh?”

  Audrey desperately tried to find her voice, but couldn’t. Not when Griffin’s body heat warmed her and the smell of his shaving soap left her all too aware of him. For a moment, she thought he’d say something else. Instead, he backed away to put more distance between them. The added space helped her find both a measure of calm and her voice.

  “I assure you, I have been trained to deal with this kind of danger, my lord,” she said. “I can handle myself.”

  Griffin glared at her. His tone was clipped when he spoke. “Fine, I shall assume you can. But I’ll still be expected to attend some of these functions with you, won’t I? What will there be, a few balls, perhaps a night at the theatre? I’ll be forced to attend, no matter that I wouldn’t have brought myself within a league of those events on my own accord, especially so soon after Luci’s death.”

  His eyes clouded momentarily and sent an ache through Audrey.

  “I admit, I hadn’t thought of those things.” This situation was rapidly slipping out of her control. “But Noah and I wouldn’t ask you this favor if we didn’t truly need your help.”

  At that, the heat left Griffin’s eyes and his shoulders sagged. “I know.”

  Inching closer, Audrey held out a trembling hand and placed it on Griffin’s arm. Through his jacket she felt the muscles contract, but he didn’t pull away. He simply stared at her hand as if he didn’t know what it was.

  “Please.” She whispered the word, not for effect, but because she didn’t trust her voice not to break if she forced it louder. “I shall be safer in your home than I would be anywhere else in London. I beg of you, do this one thing for me.”

  For a fraction of a second, he kept his focus on her hand, but then she found herself lost in a dark sea of brown when he met her gaze squarely.

  “You’re so different,” he murmured, then shook his head as if he hadn’t meant to voice the words. Gently, he shrugged out of her grip. “Very well. I will make for London as soon as I am able. You and Noah may follow in a few days.”

  He accentuated his remark with a sigh that let Audrey know just how much he hated the idea. But hate it or not, she had won. She let out her breath in a relieved burst.

  “Thank you. We’ll stay out of your way as much as we can, my lord.”

  She turned to leave, but he caught her hand to stop her. His palm warmed her even through her gloves as he pulled her closer.

  “You should call me Griffin. After all, we’re childhood friends, there’s no need for such formality between us.” His voice was gentle now that he’d surrendered to her request.

  With a wince, Audrey slipped her hand from the protective circle of his and shook her head. “I’m no longer a child, my lord. Good day.”

  With a nod, she hurried to the door and out in to the hallway, eager to escape before her conflicted feelings made her say or do something rash. Noah straightened up from his position leaning on the wall as she exited.

  “He said yes,” she said with a smile.

  “Perfect!” Her brother swept her up in a hug.

  As she squeezed him back, her relief began to fade. Because of Griffin’s surrender, for the next few months she would be able to do her duty, but at what cost? Because if being in the same room with Griffin for only a few moments was difficult, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live under the same roof.

  ***

  Griffin settled into a chair beside the crackling fire and covered his face with his hands. What had he just done? No, he knew the answer to that question. He had opened Pandora’s Box and now it was too late to turn back.

  “Audrey.”

  Her name burned his lips as much as her kiss had five years before.

  Uttering a quiet curse, he stood and walked to the window. Below, he watched Audrey and Noah ride down the long road that lead to the village. She grinned at something her brother said, then tossed a curl off her shoulder. Griffin’s whole body responded with an awareness that had been foreign for years.

  The past quarter of an hour alone with her had been pure torment. He’d ached for… but no. He wouldn’t think of that.

  He had never spoken about the way he felt for Audrey, not even to Noah. His best friend had only known about Luci’s transgressions, but he’d never imagined that thoughts of Audrey haunted Griffin’s dreams, made him look at every woman differently.

  His wife may have betrayed him with her body, but he had done the same to her with his mind. Perhaps Luci had sensed that betrayal, perhaps it had pushed her into the arms of man after man while Griffin sat home longing for a woman he couldn’t have.

  He hadn’t always thought of Audrey that way. For long, ignorant years he had thought of her as nothing more than the younger sister of his best friend. Her tendre for him had been evident, but he had never returned those feelings. After all, he had Luci and Luci was enough for any man.

  Until his wedding day.

  When Audrey had pressed her lips against his, she had stirred something inside him unlike anything he’d ever felt before. If Luci hadn’t come in and broken them apart, he probably would have swept Audrey up against him and kissed her until neither one of them could breathe or think.

  How many times had he imagined doing just that since that day? With a groan, he rubbed his eyes. Probably a hundred. Maybe even more.

  “Cotter!” he barked out as he mixed himself another drink.

  His butler appeared in the doorway. “Yes, my lord?”

  “Direct the staff to prepare my things. I shall be departing for London tomorrow.”

  He downed the drink in one swig before he glanced over at the butler. As he expected, if the man was surprised by Griffin’s sudden order he displayed no indication of it.

  “Of course, my lord,” the man said with a nod. “And may I say, I think a change of pace may be just the thing you need, my lord. The staff has
been very concerned about you since Lady Berenger died.”

  Griffin managed a smile at Cotter’s kindness. If his servants knew how he really felt they wouldn’t have sympathy for him.

  Here they thought he was still in mourning, pining for the wife he loved. In reality, he was often relieved no one had discovered she was cuckolding him with any man she could find above eighteen and below ninety. Eventually the talk would have begun, the whispers. But all that was over now.

  The child Luci had been birthing when death had taken her was another story. He truly did mourn for the little life inside her, though he knew the baby boy wasn’t his. A bastard was Luci’s legacy to him.

  “My lord?” Cotter asked, his tone concerned.

  Glancing up, he nodded. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

  “I hope I haven’t offended you, sir.” The older man looked genuinely worried, and Griffin smiled to ease his mind.

  “No, Cotter, you didn’t,” he said. “I appreciate the staff’s kind concern for my well-being.”

  The butler bowed. “I shall begin the preparations for your departure immediately, my lord.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How long do you think you will be in Town?”

  Griffin shut his eyes. How long would a major investigation last? The longer it took, the longer he’d be in Audrey’s company.

  “Perhaps all summer,” he said with a barely perceptible shiver.

  “Well, that’s a good length of time to spend with friends, sir,” Cotter said. “Good afternoon.”

  Friends. Could he be a friend to Audrey? There wasn’t any other choice. He would keep his distance when he could, and be cordial when he was forced to be. It seemed the only way he would survive the next few months.

  Chapter Three

  Audrey peeked out the carriage window to take in the view. Over the past two hours, the green fields had given way to buildings. They were at the very edge of London now. The edge of her destiny, whatever that was. Audrey took in a calming breath. She could do this.

  “Didn’t like what you saw, love?” Hannah Pikard asked from her left, patting her arm with genuine friendliness.

  Audrey grinned at her comrade. Hannah was older than she by only seven years, but often treated her like a mother would. They were close enough friends that Hannah seemed to see through any pretense Audrey tried to maintain. It was both a blessing and a curse.

  “I have no quarrel with London, Hannah, you know that,” she said with a laugh.

  “Aye, but your face has grown paler with each passing mile. There’s something in the city that has you spooked. I wonder if I can guess what it is?”

  She winked as Audrey stuck out a playful tongue.

  Noah looked up from his paperwork with a smile. “Don’t tease her so, Hannah. She needs to concentrate on work now, and so do you.”

  “What is there to concentrate on?” Hannah laughed, the big, bawdy sound of it filling the coach. “All I have to do is mind my language and behave like a maid. My role isn’t a difficult one, I assure you.”

  Audrey put an arm around Hannah and squeezed, glad she was on this assignment. She always felt safe with her friend. Perhaps it was because Hannah was one of the best agents in the War Department, or maybe it was because she had wicked aim when it came to throwing a knife. Whatever the reason, Audrey knew she could talk to Hannah openly about anything and never receive a shocked response. After all, the woman had been a prostitute before Noah had swept her off the street and into the government’s employ.

  “Audrey, you’ll be pleased to know Ellison is enamored of you. He sent a letter before we left asking when we would arrive in London and if he could call on you.” Noah held up a piece of paper with a nod. “So all the work we did in Avonblithe has apparently paid off.”

  All Audrey’s playful feelings faded. “I’m pleased my ruse to gain his attention is working, but I wish I didn’t have to be quite so close to Ellison.”

  “We won’t let anything happen to you,” Hannah reassured her. Lowering her voice, she added, “And I have a feeling your Viscount will be watching out for you, as well.”

  The blood drained from Audrey’s face as she looked up to make sure Noah wasn’t listening. Audrey’s girlhood infatuation with Griffin had been the topic of many a conversation between the two friends.

  “Somehow I doubt that,” she whispered back. “He isn’t very happy about this whole arrangement. I can’t say I am, either.”

  “You’re worried about living in the same house as the man you once loved?” Hannah’s green eyes sparkled with teasing.

  A blush warming her cheeks, Audrey nodded. “Or believed I loved.”

  “Do you remember our first meeting, Audrey?”

  “Yes.” Audrey thought of how scandalized she’d been when she realized her partner was a former lady of the evening.

  Hannah smiled softly. “You were so frightened, so unsure of yourself. Do you feel that way now when you start a new case?”

  “I do feel some nervousness, but more excitement,” she admitted.

  Hannah nodded. “And do you still think I’m nothing more than a lightskirt?”

  Audrey squeezed her friend’s hand. “Of course not! I love you like you were my own sister. I know you’re so much more than circumstances forced you to be in your youth.”

  “That’s right. You have changed, have you not?” Hannah pressed.

  She shrugged. “Yes.”

  “Then don’t fear Griffin Berenger. He’s a man, not a legend. And you aren’t that child who worshipped him anymore.”

  Audrey nodded as the truth of Hannah’s words sank in. “I know that, my dear friend. But when I look at him, I can’t help but feel like that girl who was so filled with love and sorrow all at once. My tongue gets tied and my stomach goes fluttery.”

  “Hmph.” Hannah wrapped a ringlet of glossy brown hair around her fingertip absently. “Well, he is a handsome man. All of London is screaming for his return to Society, and no wonder.”

  “Yes, no wonder,” Audrey murmured.

  “Are you two finished talking about Griffin as if I weren’t sitting right here?” Noah shut his file with a swish. “May we get back to business and forget about the giggling and nonsense?”

  “And him the king of nonsense!” Hannah burst out with a saucy wink for Noah.

  “Aye, but not when it’s traitors we’re dealing with, my dears,” he said with laughter in his tone.

  “My brother is right.” Audrey shoved her worries about Griffin aside. “We do need to concentrate on matters at hand. What is our first step once we arrive in London?”

  “We can’t appear overly eager,” Noah answered. “After all, you’re offering Ellison all the advantages here. If you chase after him, he may become suspicious.”

  She let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t forget, I’m a hopeless old maid with no prospect of a husband on the horizon. He may simply believe I’m eager for any offer.”

  Noah’s face softened as he brushed the top of her hand with his fingertips. “You found Mother’s letter, didn’t you?”

  Audrey bit her lower lip. She hadn’t realized she’d quoted directly from her well-meaning mother’s latest missive. The one her older brother had so kindly tried to hide from her.

  “I wasn’t snooping.”

  He laughed, but his eyes remained full of worry and the slightest hint of pity. Not much, but enough to sting Audrey’s pride.

  “Of course you were! It’s in your nature, and a good thing, too.” He frowned. “But I’m sorry you had to read that. You know Mother is only concerned for you.”

  Audrey sighed. “Yes, I do know that. She would have been happier if I’d married Squire Teetle when I had the chance and been done with it. She’ll never forgive me for that.” She pulled back the window curtain and glared out at the Thames as it rushed by. “But we’re straying from the subject. I know my role, to distract our dear Mr. Ellison by whatever means necessary.”

&nb
sp; Both Noah and Hannah looked at her with wide eyes at that declaration.

  “Within reason, of course. Remember, when we play these little spy games, I’m the perfect lady. I would never be expected to go too far.” Audrey winked. “But the horrified looks on your faces were well worth the hideous image that popped into my head at the thought of doing anything more than taking Ellison’s arm.”

  “You shouldn’t tease about such things, Audrey,” Noah admonished with a glower. “You never know when a dire situation might arise, and I doubt you would find it funny then.”

  Though the carriage was warm, Audrey shivered. She had to make jokes, at times it was the only way her situation didn’t terrify her.

  Noah paused as the carriage passed through the gates to Griffin’s city estate just off St. James Street. “The rest of our discussion will have to wait.”

  Audrey nodded shakily. She was happy to be off the subject of their dangerous work, but uncertain if she was ready to face Griffin again.

  As the footman helped her down, she looked up at the large house. She hadn’t been here since she was a little girl. Anything had seemed possible then, as Noah, Audrey and Griffin had raced down the hallways. When she’d stumbled on the back staircase, Griffin had been the one to help her up. Her little heart had skipped a beat for her savior.

  And now, at the ripe age of twenty-three, it skipped again as Audrey looked up to the doorway to see Griffin step outside to greet them. He was far too handsome for his own good. And she was far too aware of it for hers.

  He smiled as they exited the carriage, but it seemed forced. “There you are. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming after all.”

  “Good afternoon, my lord,” Audrey said. He caught her gloved hand gently in his own to place a light kiss on top of the fabric. Though his lips barely grazed her, she felt the touch through her every fiber.

  “Good afternoon, Audrey,” he said with a playful wink as he stressed her given name.