Almost A Spinster Read online

  He winced as he remembered her tear-streaked face. Her claims that any chance of a future were ruined. And the knowledge that her claim was true if he couldn’t help her. Yet David seemed to feel little remorse as he crossed the room to pour himself a drink.

  “Yes, it’s a beastly business, isn’t it?” he said as he bit his lower lip. “I do feel badly. Jane is a wonderful girl. And if I could have, I would have given her what she desired… but surely she had to have known my family’s need for a good match would ultimately keep me from making her any promises.”

  Rage bubbled higher, burning Wesley’s throat, blurring his vision. Why was he reacting this way? Nothing his friend said came as any surprise to him. Wesley had always known David to be a selfish creature. He, like so many others of their circle, had never known heartache or hardship. They had been raised in utter privilege. With no rules or boundaries. Wes had never seen the harm in their wild behavior… until now. Until Jane.

  “How could she have known, David?” he ground out through clenched teeth. “When she came out in society, you were the first to behave as if her family’s reduced position meant nothing. You never led her to believe anything except that you were serious about your intentions. You let her make public her affection for you. You encouraged her to cut herself off from any other suitor. Are you now saying you never had any intention to make an offer for her?”

  He held his breath as he awaited David’s answer. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for. Perhaps that David really had been placed into a corner by his family’s demands. Perhaps that he loved Jane… because if he didn’t then that meant Jane had wasted her time caring for him.

  And that Wesley had wasted his time keeping a distance out of respect for a relationship that never really existed.

  But when David cocked his head in confusion, Wesley didn’t need to hear his reply. It was as evident as the moon that cut through the cloudless night.

  “I could never offer for her, Stanton,” David said, reverting to Wesley’s title as he always did when he was trying to defend some ridiculous action. “No matter how much I like her, her family’s financial situation… her father’s reputation…”

  “But you always behaved as if those things didn’t matter to you,” he insisted.

  Jane had often remarked about David’s utter acceptance of her family’s state. He knew it meant the world to her. Had even been a part of why she thought herself in love with him.

  David shrugged. “Because it had nothing to do with me whatsoever. Her financial and social status would never prevent me from being a friend to her, of course, but marry-”

  Wesley didn’t allow David to finish before he was on his feet. He reached him in three long steps, grasping David’s dandified collar as he pushed him back against the wall. David was nearly the same height as Wes, but unlike him, David had to pad his clothing to give the illusion of muscular definition. In a fight, there would be no match.

  What was happening? How had it come to this? With him ready to hit David. David looking at him with confused and terrified brown eyes. Wesley’s blood running hot as he thought about the muck David had made out of Jane’s life. How could his friend be so utterly stupid and blindly cruel?

  “You idiot,” he growled, pushing David against the wall once, hard before he let him go and backed away. This was madness. He had to stop. He’d come here to lay the seeds of his pretend courtship, not challenge his friend to a fight… which was the next step in this encounter that was spiraling out of control so damned quickly.

  David straightened his mangled collar as he stared in disbelief at Wes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “How can you ask me that? You have ruined Jane… you have ruined her hopes. Destroyed her future.”

  David seemed to have recovered himself, for he stepped forward and snapped, “You sound as if you care! As if you have some stake in what happens to her!”

  Wes drew a few deep breaths to calm his racing pulse. This was the perfect opportunity to regain purchase on the situation.

  “Yes,” he said, his voice nothing more than a harsh whisper. “I suppose I do. And I shouldn’t be angry for what you did because it-it opened a door I have long wished to pass through.”

  David’s eyes widened slightly. “A door?”

  Wesley clenched and unclenched his fists. Why couldn’t he catch his breath? “Jane. Your callous dismissal of her has allowed me an opening to her heart. And I intend to take it. In fact, when I comforted her last night after your engagement, I took the first steps in creating a new bond with her.”

  David shifted uncomfortably as he looked his friend up and down. “You and Jane?”

  Wesley nodded as he tried to dismiss how easily the words fell from his mouth. It took no effort to claim a desire for Jane’s affection. A desire to take the place David once claimed in her heart… in her life.

  The emotions that coursed through him… the anger at David’s callousness, the pain at the hurt he’d caused Jane, the need to protect her… they were all too real.

  And they went deeper than physical attraction. He’d never admitted that to himself before because of David, but now… Now everything became clear.

  His feelings for her crystallized.

  David’s rude snort interrupted the dangerous path of Wesley’s thoughts. He shook his head to clear away the cobwebs and shot his friend a glare.

  “What does that mean?” he asked, folding his arms, if only to keep from putting a fist through David’s face.

  “I simply cannot believe you would pursue Jane. You, the most notorious rake in London. You, who has never spent more than a week with the same woman.” David chuckled. “I’ve always envied that, but I never had the funds to maintain such a lifestyle. Perhaps after the wedding, eh?”

  David grinned at him and Wes saw his friend was trying to close the gap that had been put between them earlier, but he could not bring himself to accept the olive branch. Here David stood, completely uncaring of the damage he had done, joking about the future of his infidelity, not a day after his engagement.

  And it made Wesley sick. Reputation or not, he couldn’t bear the callousness… the unfeeling nature of his ‘friend’. It was like his eyes had been opened. Perhaps their friendship had ended years ago… but he’d never noticed it until Jane stepped between them and dared him to be a better man. Dared him to make himself worthy of her smiles and laughter.

  One thing was certain… David was worthy of neither.

  “I came here to insure you won’t interfere with my courtship with Jane,” he said, straightening to his full height. “That you won’t make things difficult for her.”

  David’s forehead wrinkled. “You’re serious. You’re really going to pursue her!”

  “I am.” He met his friend’s eyes, daring challenge. And in a way hoping David would meet it. He wouldn’t mind finishing the physical fight.

  David shrugged. “I won’t interfere, of course. If you want my leavings, you’re welcome to them.”

  Under normal circumstances, Wesley would have punched his friend for such a comment. Instead, he turned on his heel and started for the door because he knew that what David said was true.

  Wesley wanted Jane. No, it was more than that. As he stalked out of the room, David’s voice echoing after him, he realized he loved Jane.

  He loved Jane. The realization nearly brought him to his knees in David’s foyer. Yet, it wasn’t a realization at all. It was just a fact. As much a part of his being as if he’d been shocked by the fact his eyes were green or his hair was brown.

  He loved Jane.

  But for now… she loved David.

  #

  Jane took Wesley’s arm as he helped her from the carriage and led her toward the pillared doorway of Lord and Lady Ketterick’s home. As she glanced up at the opulent manor, she forced a smile. She should have been excited… nervous. After all, this would be the first time she and Wesley made their ‘courtship’ public and verified
the rumors running wild throughout London society.

  But instead, she was worried. And not about their deception. About Wes.

  She sent a glance toward him. Just as it had been since he arrived at her home to escort her, his jaw was set in a harsh line, like he was clenching his teeth. While they normally exchanged easy pleasantries, tonight he’d been curt and incommunicative.

  Was he regretting his offer to help her?

  Hurt slashed through her at that thought, but she shoved it aside. Hurt! That was ridiculous. If he wished to renege on his offer, it would make her situation more difficult, but there was no reason for it to hurt. There was nothing between them beyond their friendship.

  A little voice inside her called her a liar, but she closed her ears to its insistent taunting and forced a false smile to her companion.

  “Is anything wrong?” she asked, squeezing his arm to draw his attention.

  His eyes focused on her, suddenly intense and even a little wild. “No, of course not,” he said, too quickly to be believed. As if he was holding something back.

  Her nervousness doubled. “Are you having doubts about this arrangement?” she asked as they passed through the doorway. The foyer was crowded with other guests awaiting entrée to the ballroom beyond and they were slowed in their progress.

  He tilted his head and though she wouldn’t have thought it possible, his gaze grew darker until it was close to emerald. She was drawn to him… even felt herself swaying toward him until she caught the slight motion and righted herself.

  “Are you having second thoughts, Jane?” he asked, his voice suddenly soft.

  She shook her head. “No. This is my only choice.”

  He winced at that observation, then covered his reaction with a smile that was anything but warm. “Yes. We’ve established that.”

  He turned his face and she had the uncomfortable feeling that this might be the last time they spoke that night. Why was he being so odd? Like her words affected him, bothered him. Or something else did.

  “Did-did you speak to David?” she stammered, reaching for something to keep him talking, make him look at her.

  His shoulders stiffened and she felt his arm tense before he sent a brief glance her way. “Yes. Why do you think all Society is talking about our courtship?”

  Her eyes widened and she stifled a nervous giggle. So that was where Wesley had gone the afternoon she agreed to his wild deception. And a good choice, too. Not only did it fulfill her purpose in flaunting her desirability to David, but she knew him too well. He had never been discreet when it came to gossip. David wouldn’t be able to keep himself from telling his valet.

  The valet had long been pursuing the maid of David’s mother. He would definitely tell the young woman to curry favor. And everyone knew the lady’s maid had an arrangement with her mistress to pass along every snippet of gossip she heard. David’s mother had probably known before breakfast!

  As for her discretion… Jane held back a snort. It was nonexistent. She wouldn’t be able to stop herself from telling every Society matron within a few hours, embellishing the details with every recounting of the second or third hand story.

  It was brilliant. Yet Wesley still looked tense and angry, not pleased. “Did something go wrong in your meeting?”

  He sighed, an almost pained sound. “No. It went exactly as planned.” There was a heartbeat of hesitation. “Almost exactly as I planned. At any rate, he knows about our ‘courtship’.”

  “What was his reaction?” she asked, leaning closer in curiosity, even though she had the troubling sensation of not really caring anymore. How easily her feelings, the ones she had nurtured for so long, were fading. Was her heart trying to protect her by forgetting her love for David?

  Or was it something else?

  Wesley was quiet long enough that she wondered if he heard her question. She was about to repeat it when he sighed. “David was not overly pleased, I don’t think.”

  A little smile curled her lips at that thought. Good. Let him regret throwing her over. Let him wish he had chosen differently.

  She made a move to step into the ballroom, but Wesley drew her back. When she looked up at him, she was surprised to see him staring at her. Searching her face. Searching deeper, like he could see into her heart and soul. She had the strangest urge to run away. Fast. Keep running.

  “Jane, if you show too much interest in David… or in any other man, this deception will never be believed. It may be best to pretend, even when we’re alone, that you only have eyes for me. That way you’ll never slip in your act.”

  She hesitated. What Wesley said made perfect sense, of course, but somehow her heart still fluttered wildly at the thought of pretending to be his, not just to the world, but everywhere. How would she act? Wes was one of her best friends. How would she stare into his eyes, the very eyes that were drawing her in, and pretend to love him? Allow herself to pretend he loved her, too.

  She jolted as a burst of laughter came from a group of people to their left. Somehow she’d forgotten they were in a crowd. Swallowing past an inexplicable lump in her throat, she whispered, “Yes. Very well.”

  She looked down at the arm Wesley offered her a second time, but some part of her faltered. Touching him seemed different somehow. Something had changed, something beyond the deception they were perpetrating against the ton.

  “Are you coming?” Wesley whispered, his voice strangely soft and seductive in comparison to the buzzing crowd.

  Jane looked into his eyes. Kind eyes, despite his reputation. Eyes that had always reflected an honest regard and friendship for her. But at that moment, it wasn’t friendship that burned hot in his stare. It was something more. Something young ladies of her marital status and station weren’t supposed to recognize. But she did. The pointed, heated nature of his stare called to something wicked inside her.

  She shook her head, breaking the contact that seemed to burn. “Y-Yes, of course.”

  It took all her balance and concentration not to stumble as she took his arm and they moved into the ballroom at last. She dared to shoot a second glance in his direction and found that the heat was gone from Wesley’s eyes. She could try to pretend it had never been there, but it had. She’d seen it.

  And she’d never felt anything remotely like that when she looked at David. Not from him. And never from herself. What did that mean? What did any of it mean?

  “Wes, Lady Jane!”

  Jane nearly let out a little scream of surprise as David’s voice pierced through her foggy mind. She forced herself to come back to the present to see the man she’d once fancied herself in love with coming across the room. His smile seemed forced as he glanced from Wes to her and back again. For the first time in a long time, her stomach didn’t do flip flops when he looked at her.

  “Good evening, David,” Wesley snapped out.

  Jane’s eyes widened at the tone of his voice. It was anything but welcoming. She looked between the two men. They were like dogs about to fight. Her heart leapt to her throat. What in the world had happened between them when Wes went to David that night? Was it her fault that these old friends suddenly looked like sworn enemies?

  “You look lovely, as always, Lady Jane,” David looked at her, but his eyes still seemed to smirk at Wes.

  “Where is your fiancée tonight, David?” Wesley bit out.

  “With her father.” David didn’t look away from Jane. “I would dearly love a moment of your time this evening, Jane. Perhaps-”

  Wesley made a little sound in his throat. It was incoherent, yet she knew exactly what he meant. He was… angry that David was interfering. Angry… even though this was exactly what she had hoped for when she made the arrangement with Wesley. Wasn’t it? Suddenly she was confused.

  “I’m afraid Jane has promised this dance to me, David,” he growled. “And I’m sure her dance card will be filled all night.”

  Before Jane could confirm or deny Wesley’s statement, he swept her away and s
he found herself in his arms on the dance floor.

  #

  Jane stared out over the terrace to the moonlit gardens far below. It was the first time she’d been alone since she and Wesley arrived at the ball. In the distance, she heard the low sound of laughter and talk from others on the terrace, but she inched further away, farther into the darkness.

  She didn’t want to be with people at present.

  The night was going well, better than she could have hoped. Already, several of the most eligible men in society had asked her to dance, and the fact that she always returned immediately to Wesley’s side only seemed to make her all the more sought after. She should have been pleased.

  But she wasn’t. She was confused and a little hurt. Not because of David, who she had been avoiding all evening thanks to Wesley’s good advice and Felicity’s repetition of that advice. No, it was Wes himself who made her tired head spin madly.

  He looked the part of a man falling in love. He attended to her with consideration, but did not hold her hostage at his side, thereby allowing her to be seen. He smiled at her, chatted with her amiably enough… but there was something missing. The light in his eyes was changed, and he grew more and more distant as the evening went on. Their conversation wasn’t the banter, the teasing comfort she expected. Instead, it felt awkward… common. Not like Wes. Not like her.

  She didn’t know what had caused this change, but she did know it was all she could think of. When she should have been enjoying herself with the many men who were now falling over themselves to fill her dance card, she was instead looking for Wesley in the crowd. When they were talking in a group, she felt an impatient desire to be alone with him. But when they did find a moment of brief solitude, she didn’t know what to say.

  Why was this happening?

  “Jane?”

  She spun around to find Wesley standing behind her, a flute of champagne in each hand. He gave her a smile, one that made her insides melt a little, and handed her one of the glasses.