Almost A Spinster Read online

  “Cheers, my lady. I believe you made headway tonight… and so did I.”

  They clinked their glasses together, but Jane didn’t drink. Instead, she watched Wesley’s muscles flex as he tilted his head to look at the stars above.

  “Your grandmother will hear about our attending the ball together, she’ll hear the gossip, you mean?” Jane asked.

  Wesley didn’t look away from the stars. “My grandmother?” he repeated absently.

  She drew back in surprise. Wes didn’t seem to know what she was talking about. His grandmother. The reason he claimed to be involved in this false courtship. Unless there was another.

  “You told me she was the reason you wanted to pretend we were falling in love,” she said. “Is there some other purpose, some hidden agenda you haven’t shared with me?”

  Wesley’s chin jerked down and he met her eyes with sudden intensity. “What?” He shook his head. “No, of course not, just my grandmother.”

  Jane set the full champagne glass down on the stone edge of the terrace wall and put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been so… odd, Wesley. So different and distant since we arrived. Won’t you tell me why? Is there something else going on here that I should know about?”

  Wes tilted his head, searching her face as if he was trying to gauge her reaction before he spoke again. “Why do you care, Jane?” he finally asked. “When you came to me a few nights ago, all you cared about was retaining your position at David’s side… or at the very least regaining some position in society. You’re getting what you want from the situation. You are clearly the belle of tonight’s ball and David can’t take his eyes off of you. So why do my reasons for assisting you matter?”

  Jane winced. Was that what he thought of her? That she was so focused on her own goals and pleasure that she had no care for him?

  “They matter because we’re friends, Wesley!” she said, blinking against the sting of tears. “They matter because I-I-”

  She broke off and began to turn away, but Wesley caught her arm and held her steady. His green stare burned into her. “You what, Jane?”

  She hesitated. Everything was so strange now. Her heart throbbed, her vision blurred and she felt a strange, overwhelming desire to lean into Wesley… Wesley of all people.

  “I don’t know,” she whispered. “You know I care for you, I would hate for you to think I didn’t.”

  He pulled her arm gently and she took a tiny step closer. Wes’s warmth suddenly surrounded her, his scent, a tangy combination of spice and citrus, teased and tormented her. She tilted her face and her breath caught. He was so close. Inappropriately close. And she wanted him closer.

  “You care for me because we’re old friends Jane? Just old friends?” he murmured, his voice seductive and low.

  She swallowed. Everything was getting blurry except for Wes. And he was in such sharp focus that he practically gleamed in the moonlight.

  “I-I don’t know anymore,” she admitted, then bit back a breath of shock. What was she saying?

  His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak. Jane knew he was going to question her… but she had no answers. Everything was so mixed up. Her world had gone from perfectly ordered and planned to upside down in a few days. Suddenly everything she knew, everything she believed had been turned on its head and she was lost.

  She couldn’t tell Wes the answers to the questions glittering in his eyes because she didn’t know the answers, herself. So she did the only thing she could think of. She stepped a fraction closer, lifted her mouth…

  And kissed him.

  Chapter Four

  Jane was kissing him. Wesley’s mind screamed that fact, as if his body didn’t know it full-well. In fact, his burning blood was reminding him more by the minute as it rushed to incredibly uncomfortable places.

  Jane was kissing him. Jane was kissing him. Jane was kissing him.

  Over and over the words echoed in his mind until they erased everything else. The questions, the deceptions, the fears… all gone with the sweep of her lips.

  Except that she wasn’t really the one kissing him anymore. At some point, he had taken over and was kissing her. Thoroughly.

  His arms came around her petite waist, his hands splaying on the small of her back, cradling her against him until not even a whisper could have slipped between their molded bodies. She let out a little whimper that was lost in his mouth as he swept his tongue against the crease of her lips.

  She tasted so damn sweet.

  He had imagined her flavor so many times over the years he’d lost count. Sometimes it was all he could think about as he watched her across the room, her delectable lips moving while she spoke or smiled or laughed. He’d wondered if she would taste like ripe raspberries or musky vanilla. Fresh mint or tangy citrus.

  Now that he breathed her in, stroked his tongue across hers until her knees trembled and she fisted a hand against his chest, he realized he had guessed it wrong every time. Like with all other things, Jane’s flavor was unique. Yes, she was sweet and innocent, but beneath it all, as her breath hitched, he tasted her desire. She might not know it was there, or at least not know it by name, but he felt it in her body’s sway, heard it in every thump of her pounding heart… and he tasted it in the faint desperation and fear of her kiss.

  Jane wanted him.

  And that was enough to make him forget reason and prudence and everything else in the world but her. His embrace tightened and he found himself guiding her back into the shadows, closer to the stucco wall of the house, farther away from anything that would end this stolen moment. Far, far away from sanity.

  Their lips broke contact as her backside hit the wall. Jane’s head yanked up and she stared at him. The glow of the moon was the only light to pierce the deep shadow of the house, but in it, Wesley saw her dark eyes sparkle as she looked at him. He held his breath while he waited, fully expecting her to push him away. And truth be told, he was already formulating his next move once she did so. For one thing was very clear: now that he’d had a taste of Jane, there was no way he would stop himself from working to erase whatever feelings remained for David and making himself the man she wanted for more than just one kiss.

  But he didn’t have to make his next move. Instead of pushing him away, instead of bolting from his arms and running as far from him as humanly possible, Jane lifted a trembling hand and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead.

  “Wesley?” she whispered.

  It was said as a question and he shut his eyes. He couldn’t resist. “I’m going to kiss you again, Jane.”

  His voice was harsh with long pent up desire and he let his eyes come open in time to see surprise flash across her face. But it wasn’t unpleasant surprise.

  And that was enough.

  He dipped his head and took her lips again. Only this time, he didn’t concentrate on that shocked voice inside him that pointed out, yet again, that he and Jane were kissing. Instead, he felt the moment. It was one he’d been waiting for a long time without even realizing it.

  Jane’s hands moved up from their fisted position against his chest, winding around his neck where she clung tight, as if she were trusting him to keep her in place, to keep her safe. It was something he wasn’t sure he could do, not when her mouth was so hot on his. And especially not when, with a little groan, she began to kiss him back in earnest. Her reaction was timid at first, but she was a quick study and soon her mouth and tongue collided with his with a need as heavy and deep as his own.

  While he kept one hand at the small of her back, Wesley’s other hand moved. He slipped his fingers along the curve of her side, stroking the silky line of her gown with a feather light touch. He moved higher, his hand seeking, his body seeking until he found the swell of her breast. With a shiver, he cupped the globe.

  Jane let out a gasp, but she didn’t pull away from the kiss that was growing so hot Wesley was surprised he wasn’t burned by the touch. He tested the weight of her breast. Small but perfect, th
e nipple already hard to the touch beneath the thin fabric of her gown’s bodice. She was so responsive, despite their surroundings, despite her surprise, despite everything. He couldn’t help but wonder about her surrender if he was free to take this seduction further.

  Like to his carriage. His home. His bed.

  The thought was almost too much.

  “Jane?”

  A female voice in the distance cut off those dangerous thoughts and yanked Wesley back to reality. He pulled away from Jane’s lips and realized, with a mixture of arousal and horror, just what a position they were in. He had her pinned against the house, just barely out of sight of whoever it was that was looking for them, Jane’s breast was in his hand and her chin was lifted, trembling as she waited for another kiss.

  With difficulty, Wesley managed to back away, removing his offending hand just as Felicity came around the corner and called out her friend’s name a second time.

  “Jane? Ja-”

  Felicity stopped dead in her tracks and her mouth dropped open. Wesley turned to face the other woman just a moment too late. For her part, Jane hadn’t seemed to realize they’d been interrupted at all. Her eyes were still shut, her body quivering as she leaned against the wall.

  “Jane,” Wesley snapped beneath his breath.

  Her eyes flew open at his voice and she looked at Felicity and nearly went down on her backside. Clearly, she realized what her friend had seen as much as he did.

  A very compromising position. And not the kind they had hoped to orchestrate with their deception. On the contrary, it was the sort that could ruin Jane’s reputation permanently. The kind that could send she and Wesley to the alter.

  The idea gave him a very brief, rather terrifying thrill.

  Except that if Jane was to become his wife because of this, it would be a marriage of force… not one she desired. And those were not terms he could live with.

  “Felicity,” Jane faltered as she stumbled toward her friend. “We were just-I was only-”

  Jane’s gaze darted to him, held there for a moment and then high color entered her cheeks. She lifted a hand to touch her lips, swollen from the pressure of his mouth on hers. With a little gasp, she pushed past her friend and disappeared toward the house.

  Felicity watched her go, then her blue eyes swung back to Wesley with focused intent and judgment. He shifted beneath the gaze, unsure of how to handle what had just transpired.

  “You have the worst timing in the world, Lady Felicity,” he breathed, trying for a cocky grin that fit his reputation, if not the painful pounding of his heart.

  One of Felicity’s eyebrows arched delicately. The cocky grin clearly did not impress her.

  “Actually, I think I have very good timing, Lord Stanton,” she said with a cool smile. “Imagine if I hadn’t been the one to-er-” She blushed. “To interrupt when I did. Someone else might have caused my friend no end of trouble.”

  He pursed his lips. Of course she was correct. “Yes, I realize that.”

  “Do you?” Felicity cocked her head. “I hope you do. Because if you hurt her, you will be even worse than David. And I always believed better of you.” She turned her back and walked away.

  Her words stinging in his ears, Wesley watched her go, then turned toward the terrace to stare into the inky night with unseeing eyes. His lips burned, his blood boiled and desire more powerful than any he’d felt before made his knees weak. How far was he willing to go?

  To get what his heart desired… to win Jane’s heart and more?

  #

  Jane’s cheeks burned, even though her hands were like ice against her skin. Worse yet, her lips burned, bringing back powerful images and feelings about the way Wesley’s mouth had moved against hers.

  When she kissed him, she’d never imagined it would go so far out of control so quickly. So irrevocably. And now everything was changed. Everything.

  Even the feelings in her heart.

  “Will you stop running?”

  She came to a halt in the hallway and turned to find Felicity, her skirt in her fist, hurrying after her. When she stopped in front of Jane, she placed a hand on her stomach and panted to catch her breath.

  “Dear Lord, Jane, I thought certain I would never catch you.”

  Jane stared at her friend, unable to say anything. What was there to say? Felicity had seen enough to know what had happened between Wesley and her. There was no denying a hidden passion had erupted on the terrace… and she found she didn’t really want to deny it, no matter how wrong that desire was.

  “Please say something,” Felicity said softly, her face darkening with concern. “Or I might think Wesley kissed away your sense.”

  “Felicity!” Jane snapped, looking around the empty hallway to ensure no one was hidden to hear her friend’s damning sentence.

  “There isn’t anyone about,” Felicity said with a roll of her eyes. “And I have to admit, I’m very pleased you have shifted your affections to a more worthy target!” Her friend’s grin was wide enough to appear painful. “When you arrived here tonight and he was so attentive to you, I was hopeful, but now I can admit I always thought Lord Stanton would be a better match for you than his friend.”

  Jane drew back. Felicity had always wished her to be with Wesley? She had never known.

  But that was ridiculous! Everything Felicity had witnessed that night between the two of them had been part of an elaborate charade.

  She thought briefly of the kiss on the terrace and shivered with the memory. Almost everything.

  “Stanton may be many things,” Felicity continued, completely unaware that every word only put Jane into more confusion and upset. “But I saw the way he watched you when you ran away… he is truly besotted. And a rake like that, once he settles down, will likely make a true and good husband. Or so my sisters tell me. They have married their own reformed rakes, you know.” Felicity grabbed for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I am pleased for you, Jane. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

  Jane stared at Felicity, her heart roaring in her ears. Wesley, besotted with her? No… no that couldn’t be true. He cared for her as a friend, he had his own reasons for their deception, but they did not include some deeper, hidden feelings for her.

  Except she had felt something there tonight… something in the way he kissed her. Something that made her hands shake and her heart soar despite herself.

  “It isn’t real,” she choked out.

  Felicity started. “I beg your pardon?”

  “What you saw… none of it is real,” Jane admitted on a broken breath. “Everything between Wesley and I is a lie, meant to trick David and the ton into thinking me desirable.”

  Felicity’s eyes went wide and her mouth formed a little ‘o’ as she dropped Jane’s hand. Then she said, “You had better tell me everything, Jane. From the beginning.”

  #

  It was an hour later that Jane and Felicity sat in the shabby sitting room at Jane’s family home. Somehow Felicity had convinced her mother to let them leave the party early, though Jane could hardly remember how her friend had accomplished such a feat. In fact, she could remember little more about revealing everything that had happened between she and Wesley, but she had, starting from the night she came into the parlor at David’s home and asked Wesley for help.

  Felicity shook her head.

  “I cannot believe you would be so bold! To try to pull off such a scheme against the ton.”

  Jane rubbed her eyes. “I know. When I hear myself say it out loud, it sounds so foolish, but at the time it seemed to make perfect sense. Especially when Wesley was explaining it all to me.”

  Saying his name caused memories of their kiss to flood her mind, and not for the first time. Her eyes fluttered shut and she could still taste him on her lips, feel his hands doing such wicked, wicked things. She shivered. They were things she had wanted.

  Still wanted.

  “Well, it isn’t foolish, exactly,” Felicity said, putt
ing a finger on her bottom lip as she considered it all. “Tonight you were the center of attention. Men were practically fighting to dance with the woman who has garnered the attention of the famously flirtatious Lord Wesley Stanton.”

  Jane shrugged one shoulder as she stared at the floor in misery. That didn’t exactly feel like a triumph.

  “Wait…” Felicity stared at her. “You-you don’t want this to be a charade, do you?”

  Jane darted her gaze to her friend’s face as the blood drained from her cheeks. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Felicity let out an unladylike snort. “Oh, yes you do, you simply don’t like to admit it, even to yourself. You said everything I saw at the ball tonight was a lie. A fabrication meant to trick society. But on the terrace, there was no one around. You were kissing Wesley and he was definitely kissing you back. And that wasn’t for show. It wasn’t for David’s benefit. It was real.” Her friend slid across the settee so she could reach Jane’s hand and took it. Her gentle squeeze made Jane look at her again. “What are your feelings for Wesley?”

  Jane stared at Felicity, opening and shutting her mouth as she tried to find the right words to say. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. Because she didn’t know the answer.

  Or, at least, she didn’t want to face the answer. Because that would mean that all this time she hadn’t known her own heart. That she had wasted her affection and her reputation on one man… when all along her soul had reached out, ignored, to another.

  A man who did not love any one woman.

  A man who only saw her as a friend.

  A man who had probably kissed a hundred girls the very same way he kissed her tonight.

  She covered her face, but she wasn’t forced to make the answer she couldn’t formulate because the parlor door came open and the family butler stepped inside.

  “Excuse me, Lady Jane,” Jenkins said with a low bow. “But a message just arrived for you.”